I Think I Broke My Logic Bone

Sometimes, I do stupid things. Things I know are stupid but for some reason just keeping doing anyway. Why? Why do I do these stupid stupid things? For years I have wondered about it. Last night, I realized why. I broke my logic bone. Of course! All these years the answer to my problems alluded me because it was so logical and my logic bone was broken so I couldn’t physically be logical. Duh.

I try really hard to eat well. I have to watch my figure, you know. Sometimes, if I know I’ve eaten really well all day, I will treat myself to an ice cream after dinner. All day long, I will think about how delicious that ice cream will taste later. Usually, everything goes according to plan and I delight myself in ice cream heaven. But, on several occasions, I have felt really sick by the end of the day. Does that stop me? No. I could literally be throwing up but I will take a break from vomiting to eat that ice cream I promised myself. Even though I know it will only make me feel worse. Doesn’t matter. I’m going to eat that ice cream come hell or high water! I always regret it. The culprit behind this ridiculousness? My broken logic bone.

I love fruit. I especially love melon. I eat a LOT of watermelon, and honeydew melon, and cantaloupe. So much, in fact, that I have on many, many occasions made myself sick from eating too much of it. For reals. MANY occasions. You would think after the first time, I know not to eat so much melon. Nope. You would definitely think after the third or fourth time, that I would never eat that much melon again. You would be wrong. I will eat that much melon again and I will make myself sick again. Why? Broken logic bone.

I wear a lot of skirts. For work, for fun, I just like to wear skirts. Sometimes, they get caught in my car door when I get in. Instead of opening the door back up and moving my skirt, what do I do? I just yank it. And it rips. And this has happened to me more than once. Why didn’t I learn the first time? Broken logic bone.

I know I shouldn’t mix my colors and whites in the wash. I KNOW that. But I do it. A lot. And every time I end up with formerly white now vagueishly blue or pink shirts. Huh. Why in the world would I do that more than once? Broken logic bone.

Bangs aren’t a great look for me. I’ve tried several times and it just never looks quite right. I know that. I know I’m not someone who can pull-off bangs. Doesn’t matter. Every few years, I decide I want bangs. Who’s to blame? My broken logic bone.

You would think that it would be easy to fix my broken logic bone. Not so. It’s been broken so long, it’s healed all wrong. My logic now walks with a very severe limp. It would probably take a lot of corrective surgeries to fix it. And who has that kind of time and money??! Not me. A broken logic bone isn’t going to kill me. Although….actually…..it might. Uh oh.

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